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The Funniest Almost-Sex Scenes on “The Mindy Project”

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The love life of Mindy Lahiri (Mindy Kaling) has turned out to be nothing like the rom-coms that she admires so much. However, her inability to obtain that Meg Ryan-esque happy ending is what makes “The Mindy Project” worth watching every week. It also helps that Mindy’s no prude – her “Sex and the City” attitude about jumping into bed with new boyfriends has led to some amazingly awkward sex scenes.

We haven’t got to see Mindy and Danny (Chris Messina) engage in any cutesy post-coital banter, but we were treated to the result of the kiss-crazy twosome trying to hook up on an airplane. The encounter ended when they realized that joining the mile-high club isn’t as easy as it seems. Unfortunately, just like the tale of Romeo and Juliet, their romance became a tragedy when fate cruelly separated them. But unlike Romeo and Juliet, they didn’t fight for their right to hook up after Danny’s arm got stuck in a garbage chute and the toilet tried to eat Mindy’s hair.

Alas, twasn’t meant to be – the new Ross and Rachel called it quits before they could share a night of passion. Watching their romance get wrecked so quickly was worse than watching the mother die in two seconds on “How I Met Your Mother.” For never was a story of more woe than this of Mindy and her Danny-o.

It’s sad that Mindy and Danny are dunzo, but at least we have more wacky Mindy hookups to look forward to. If you’re still upset about that evil enchantress from “Witches of East End” (Jenna Dewan-Tatum) coming between Mindy and Danny so soon after their airplane adventure, perhaps a look back at some of Mindy’s other awkward almost-sex scenes will put a smile on your face:

The One Where Josh Wears Mindy’s Pants

In “Danny Castellano is My Gynecologist,” Mindy tried to be both adorable and seductive by wearing her new squeeze’s button-down shirt. Unfortunately, sleazy sex addict Josh (Tommy Dewey) had to go and ruin her sex kitten moment in the most mortifying way imaginable: He picked up Mindy’s pants and put them on.

Needless to say, Mindy did not think that it was adorable when her man showed her how roomy her jeans were on his athletic bod, and she described the mood-killing scene as looking like “a lap-band surgery ad.” In this episode, we were also reminded that Mindy and Jeremy (Ed Weeks) were once friends with benefits when the Hugh Grant wannabe snuck into Mindy’s apartment to retrieve a watch that he left there during one of their trysts. Oh, and Danny almost gave Mindy a breast exam.

Mindy Almost Has to Pay for Sex

Mindy came thisclose to sleeping with a male prostitute in “Pretty Man.” She picked up gigolo Adam (Josh Meyers) at a bar and took him home thinking that he was just a hot guy looking for a good time. Poor Mindy was absolutely appalled when he asked her how much she wanted to spend after a steamy makeout session, and she was shocked to discover that Adam was a prostitute after all that kissing – after all, “Pretty Woman” taught us that Frenching on the job is a big no-no. Instead of paying Adam for a night of passion, of course Mindy decided to try to turn him into her perfect dinner party date by giving him a Julia Roberts-style makeover. Unfortunately, Mindy is no Henry Higgins from “My Fair Lady,” and her build-your-own-date eventually outed himself to all of her shocked pals.

Mindy Strikes Out with Magic Morgan

In “Magic Morgan,” we discovered the drastic measures that Mindy is willing to take to find “the one.” Mindy was heartbroken after losing Casey (Anders Holm), but she didn’t fall prey to that old rom-com cliché by doing nothing but watching rom-coms, crying, and eating. She did do most of those things, but she also decided to take action by trying to date Morgan (Ike Barinholtz).

Morgan piqued Mindy’s interest by claiming that he has the same magic touch featured in the movie “Good Luck Chuck” – any girl who dates him finds her true love right after they break up. Of course a very drunk Mindy wanted to see if this magic would work for her, so she unsuccessfully tried to have sex with Morgan when her kind coworker showed up at her apartment with some sour cream (when the store is out of ice cream, just add sugar and hope for the best).

The most hilarious moment of the episode came when Morgan fended off Mindy’s sexual advances by wrapping her in a pizza box. This crazy encounter resulted in Morgan telling hot lawyer Cliff (Glenn Howerton) that he wanted to sue Mindy for sexual harassment. However, the coworkers ended up making up; they went on a nice date instead; and Mindy eventually got a shot with Cliff that was ruined by Danny’s impulsive kiss.

Now that we’re back to Mindy and Danny’s close encounter with coupledom, fans of the pair will be happy to know “The Mindy Project” isn’t finished telling their romantic tale.

“The final shot of the episode, when Danny looks back at Mindy’s window is very much on purpose,” Mindy Kaling told Buzzfeed. “Because he looked pretty f**king cool walking away, smoking a cigarette, and we could have ended with him walking to the night. But we didn’t. We ended it that way to say there is more to come [and] that it’s not over.”

Unfortunately, fans will probably have plenty of time to daydream about that almost-sex scene before they finally get the real deal.

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

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Treva Bowdoin is a freelance writer who loves crazy comedies and creepy shows like "The Walking Dead" and "American Horror Story".

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