The FX animated series “Archer” finally scored an Emmy nomination, and all the ISIS crew had to do to get it was spend one season selling cocaine instead of playing the superspy game.
Unfortunately for the members of the Academy who enjoyed watching ISIS try and fail to sell a ton of cocaine, “Archer: Vice” was a one-time deal. Creator Adam Reed told Entertainment Weekly that season six will be a “deboot.” This means Sterling Archer will go back to being a semi-successful spy.
If you’re disappointed that “Archer” isn’t sticking to its Emmy-worthy story arc, don’t despair – there are plenty of reasons to look forward to season six.
1. Pam Poovey is quitting cocaine.
The way Pam was blowing through all that blow, it’s a miracle she made through season five alive. If she stayed on that path, she’d eventually suffer a heart attack, Kreiger would have to build her a cyborg body, and her street fighting career would really take off. Luckily, the “Cokie Monster” won’t be leaving ISIS to fight full time. Reed told The Daily Beast that Pam is done with her favorite drug, so she’ll have to trade her cocaine cupcakes, whipped cream, and froyo for the drug-free versions of the sweets. This presumably means she’ll go back to being pleasantly plump, and she’ll quit being a bad influence on viewers by making cocaine look like a tasty weight loss solution.
2. Pam will babysit Lana and Archer’s daughter.
The “Archer” deboot will see the end of skinny Pam and country music star Cherlene, but the show isn’t writing off baby Abijean. Of course Pam is going to use food to bond with A.J. when she babysits, and Reed revealed that we might see a sickening feeding scene.
“I wrote this down the other day: ‘Somebody walks in on Pam chewing up Vienna sausages and then spitting them into the baby’s mouth like a gorilla,'” Reed said. “They’re like, ‘What are you doing?’ And she’s like, ‘This is how I always do it!'”
Hopefully Pam doesn’t get asked to babysit too often.
3. Archer will spend quality time with his daughter and Cyril’s son.
Reed revealed that Archer and baby A.J. will bond when they go on a covert mission with the Wee Baby Seamus. The tattooed tot is now a toddler, and it’s obvious he’s Cyril’s son. However, Archer is the closest thing Seamus has to a father figure. The spy’s Take Your Kids to Work Day will include this fun-filled field trip activity: the two tots will accompany Archer as he breaks into the CIA. Hopefully Seamus didn’t inherit his spy skills from his biological father.
4. There might be a “Fantastic Voyage” episode.
Reed is interested in doing a “Fantastic Voyage” episode, which is something every animated series eventually has to do – we’ve seen it on “Futurama,” “Family Guy,” “South Park,” “The Simpsons,” “The Venture Bros.,” and “Rick and Morty.” However, if any series can do a fresh take on taking a journey through the human body, it’s “Archer.” It would be interesting to see if the spy’s insides look like Swiss cheese after getting shot so many times, or maybe the gang will get to visit Cheryl’s twisted brain to retrieve the mind control microchip Krieger implanted there. Cheryl would probably be really excited by the idea of a tiny submarine swimming around inside her.
5. There’s a wedding.
Archer will accompany Pam to her nemesis sister’s nuptials, which will presumably take place at the family dairy farm. Reed told Collider things go “horribly wrong” when Archer attends the country wedding with his coworker. This probably means that the bride tries to sleep with Archer.
6. Allison Tolman is voicing Pam’s sister Edie.
According to “The Los Angeles Times,” Tolman’s spunky Molly Solverson isn’t returning for season two of “Fargo.” However, maybe Tolman will bring some of Molly’s folksy charm to “Archer.” It could also be fun to have the actress go a completely different direction by playing Edie Poovey as a brutish bridezilla who curses like a sailor.
Will you miss “Archer Vice” or are you glad Sterling is returning to the world of espionage?
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Photo: FX Network