The Parents Television Council is all up in arms about Miley’s VMA performance. But there are way, way worse role models out there that kids actually care about: CARTOON CHARACTERS. Check out the animated debauchery below.
1. Mickey Mouse
In the classic Disney short The Gallopin’ Gaucho (1928), our favorite corporate cartoon figurehead lights up a cigarette and drinks a beer. Where does it end, Mickey?
2. Bart Simpson
Remember when Bart got pink-eyed drunk in “Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment”? Granted it happened on accident during a St. Patrick’s Day Parade, but El Barto has still been public enemy numero uno to mothers everywhere since 1989.
3. Gaston, Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Our womanizing, beer-guzzling antagonist teaches chillins how to get drunk and nearly assault women. Plus, he is very, very hairy.
4. Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck
When not flat out murdering each other, the Looney Tunes duo hits the sauce prettyyy hard. You just can’t drink away the pain, guys.
5. That Cheez Whiz Kid from A Goofy Movie (Bobby) (1995)
Anyone who loves cheese whiz this much must be interested in a few more select substances. I won’t name them, but I can promise they make you very goofy.
6. Tom and Jerry
No, TOM. STOP. Whatever it is you are doing, STOP.
7. Sylvester the Cat
Sylvester, none of that is good for your health.
8. Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble
GUYS, the KIDS. Think of the KIDS.
9. The Minstrel in Sleeping Beauty (1959)
This dude from Sleeping Beauty gets totally wasted on pink, delicious, cartoon wine. Not very royal-like, and not good for the kids, bucko.
10. Dumbo (1941)
Dumbo and Timothy the mouse both get tipsy off a bucket full of champagne. Pink elephants indeed, Dumbo. Pink elephants indeed.
11. Tiny Toons
What the deuce is going on here? This was on Tiny Toons?! You parents would take twerkin’ over this any day, wouldn’t ya?
12. Donald Duck in The Three Caballeros (1944)
Most people have forgotten Donald starred in this 1944 animated feature where he tours Latin America and chases around live action women in hopes of sexing them up. The explosive fireworks finale is phallic to say the least.
Constant overeating, abhorrent table manners, and apathy regarding anything and everything? Ladies and gentleman, I present today’s American youth.
JIGGLYPUFF THAT IS NOT MODEL BEHAVIOR.
Any other kids’ cartoons that aren’t for kids? Leave your comments below!
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