There is a common misconception that, to be a true fan of any particular sports team, you have to go to great lengths to prove it. Funny enough, these methods almost always prove that you are also a little crazy: standing out in the rain for hours on end, tailgating with cheap beer, and shelling out far too much money for tickets and merchandise.
While this could be what it takes for some, the more sensible fans watching from home on game day may be just as obsessed. Though it may infuriate the most diehard (and now soggy) fans, we totally understand why watching sports on TV is the better way to be a sports fan.
1. It’s Almost Free
Sure, you’d like to support the plethora of corporate sponsors that support your team, but wouldn’t that money be better spent on a cable subscription, maybe even a nicer TV you can enjoy all year long? Wouldn’t you rather save that money, or buy even more nachos than you could have afforded before?
2. You Can Keep Out of the Weather
Sorry, diehard fans, but Peyton Manning doesn’t appreciate the fact that you’re standing out in the rain for him. He doesn’t even know your name. Sure, he doesn’t know your name when you’re at home on the couch, but you won’t be miserable because you “forgot” your umbrella, tough guy.
3. The Power Over Instant Replay
It doesn’t matter if it’s a crazy foul, an intense layup, or a coach mouthing what you thought was a very colorful word, you control what gets played over instant replay. As long as you have a digital video recorder, you’ll never have to depend on the NFL to tell you what the highlights of the game are again.
4. Judgment-Free Body Paint Zone
A full-body paint suit is a great way to sport your colors, but it might not look perfect your first try. By staying home to watch the game, you can avoid any mocking stares you would have gotten and instead bask proudly in your colors on the couch.
5. Cheaper Food and Drinks
Why should you have to measure fandom by how much you’re willing to spend on fake cheese? Why must getting buzzed on watered-down beer break your bank account? It will serve you better to stay home and keep nourished through your own more affordable snacks and beverages.
6. Your Own Comfortable Chair
If “Sparky” is the name of your good luck chair, then of course you should use that luck to help out your team, sending them the positive vibes of Sparky. Just don’t tell many people you’ve named your chair.
7. No Line for the Fridge
The long wait for expensive soda on a hot game day is the most grueling thing a sports fan can experience, other than getting creamed, of course. You’re too advanced for that kind of pain; stay home, and cut the line.
8. No Line for the Bathroom
The second most grueling experience? Standing in line for the bathroom behind dozens of sports fans who have gorged themselves on hot dogs with jalapenos for the past two hours. Keep it at home, and keep the bathroom to yourself.
9. No-Hassle Parking
Assuming you don’t live in a jam-packed city metropolis, around inconsiderate neighbors/bad drivers, in a football stadium, or underwater, parking should be a cinch for you if you stay home on game day.
10. Drunk Friends, Not Drunk Strangers
Finally, we know drunk strangers are the worst and it’s arguable that drunk friends are the best. This subtle difference is enough to make any game day better. By inviting your friends to share in your home and beer, you can create a positive environment of camaraderie and fandom that no stadium can compete with.
How do you prefer to support your favorite team on game day?
Photo: Ed Yourdon
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